Boring is not necessarily bad for your relationship, unless you or your spouse decides to put an end to the tedium by straying outside your relationship. If things aren’t where you want them, there’s always hope if you and your spouse are willing to grow and change together. Here’s how you can tell that you’re well on your way.
You still have fun together, enjoy each other’s company or are determined to regain that spark.
Obviously, both partners played a part in making your marriage dysfunctional. The question is: do you blame your spouse for all or most things, or do you see where you’ve hurt them and can improve in the future? Playing the blame game is no fun, because it won’t get you anywhere. This is your first sign that your marriage is becoming healthy and heading toward healing is that you’ve chosen to release the blame, focus on the present, and continue to have fun well into the future..
You believe your relationship will only improve in the future.
Couples who have faith in each other and the strength of their marriage are bound to improve it, regardless of how weak that foundation may be during conflict, struggle, or intermittent unhappiness. Alternately, you may think you can do better with someone else. Reality says that may not be the case. Second and third marriages are even more likely to end in divorce.
Your attitude in and toward your marriage is another sign that your relationship is changing for the better.
If you think you guys will make it and are determined to make it happen, great. That’s a start. If one or both of you are so bitter or angry, and unwilling to go to counseling, much less get back together, it’s not going to work, regardless of how much the other wants it. Do you really want your marriage to heal and are you committed to getting back to the loving part of your relationship? If you are, there’s a good chance it will happen.